Tending the Dark: Guest Post from Aiden Black on the Dark Time of the Year

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The idea of Tending the Dark feels particularly apt at this time of year. At least, here in the northern hemisphere. There is more darkness in this season. Ancient questions of survival rise within us. Ancient patterns of rest and hibernation during winter rise, out of the dark. “Ancient”, meaning that we inherited them from our ancestors.

These upwellings are still relevant today, even though most of our modern lives do not ebb and flow in alignment with the seasons, with the darkening. Yet we are Earthlings. We are part of this planet, and we still feel it. We still feel the press of the dark on our physical, psychic, emotional, and spiritual selves. Why else would the holidays of this season focus so much on the light?

I once went to a pagan gathering where we danced and stood in a circle around a blazing fire. Our backs were to the dark. I felt uneasy. Like there were spirits pressing in at the circle, at the light. They rose from the dark and shadowy trees behind us. In this ritual, most of the attention was at the center of this circle, on the fire, and on those who were called into the circle. The dark was left out.

Understandable. Humans fear the dark. Particularly in the west where Christianity and whiteness have created so many of the systems we refer to as “modern life”. Consider the European Renaissance that dictated so much of our current arts and sciences. The Enlightenment. Becoming enlightened. Understandable when our rituals and patterns within the pagan and magic communities also focus on the light, the candle in the dark, the bringing into consciousness.

Focusing on light and consciousness isn’t, itself, a bad thing. The ritual I went to wasn’t a “bad” practice. In fact, it was an important reminder for me that the dark is with us too. That it, too, needs to be faced, spoken to, and invited into the circle.

So, then the question becomes, how do we do this? How do we tend to the dark?

For me, it begins with reflecting on what the dark means to me. What does the dark hold that the light ignores (for better and for worse)?

The darkness contains the things we don’t like about ourselves, that we don’t want to see about ourselves. The dark contains our fears, our monsters. The dark contains our unacknowledged hate, anger, sadness, and grief. It also contains characteristics and energies that individuals may reject, even if other people accept them. These can include vulnerability, sexuality, and control. For example, when we identify with being “nice, all that we consider other than “nice” is regulated to the dark.

Facing the dark is facing our fears, it is facing emotions and feelings that are deeply uncomfortable for us. Some people refer to these emotions as “negative”—as if we shouldn’t be feeling them because they are “bad”. To bring in some western psychology here, there are theories of emotion that posit that emotions are adaptive—that they help us survive and thrive in our ecosystems, in our communities.

The dark is purposeful, just as the light is. Consider this: if there was only darkness there would be no definition, no boundaries, and no shape. The same is true if there was only light. The interplay between dark and light creates our human experience. The interplay between all perceived opposites does this. Hard and soft, receptive and expressive, inner and outer. These help us to navigate our worlds, and to know ourselves and our environment with the senses that we have access to.

Tending the Dark is leaning into what we think of as the opposite of light and realizing that our lives become richer, deeper, and more nuanced because of our relationship with the dark. There are many ways to do this.

Some ways of Tending the Dark:

Journaling/automatic writing
Expressive arts (i.e. making shitty art)
Ecstatic dance/movement (like Open Floor or 5Rhythms)
Rituals with mirrors or the moon
Underworld journeying
Shadow work
Tarot reading
Therapy modalities- both individual and group work
Energy work (like Reiki, Qigong, or Yoga)

My final thoughts: Tending the Dark is not a one-and-done sort of practice. It is about the ongoing journey of your life and how you choose to move through the world. I think humanity, and particularly the west is experiencing a collective waking up and revelation. More and more of us are slowing down, revisiting our values and dreams, and reconnecting with the abandoned parts of ourselves that we were taught to abandon and repress. The flip side of this ‘great healing’ is also increasing.

The tension between these two perceived “sides” reminds me of a metaphor that feels important here:

Imagine we are all on a ship. A group of people moves to one end of the boat. Another group of people, fearing that the boat will capsize rushes to the opposite side. The boat tips dangerously. Some people try to redistribute the weight in the ship to keep it upright, while others remain at the far ends claiming that their side is the best side. This swinging weight distribution tips the boat from one side to another, never quite sinking. This also steers the ship across the ocean, continuing the journey these people are on.

In my mind, the ocean is the Dark.

Resources:

My own offerings can be found on my website: www.tendingthedark.com

Or you can contact me at tendingthedark@gmail.com or on IG at @tendingthedark for unlisted offerings; including Creative Healing sessions, Shadow Work, and Underworld Journeying.

You can find my art on my Etsy Shop, Tending the Dark

On adaptive emotions:

Ecstatic dance:

Shadow Work:

The Semantics of Shadow Work | Valisa Griffin | TEDxChattanooga

Aidan Black’s Full Bio

Aidan Black (they/them) is a trans, nonbinary artist and neurodivergent activist with a particular interest in the power of creativity and imagination, how we interface with it, and what healing is possible through that connection and attention.
As well as being a lucid dreamer and highly intuitive energy healer, Aidan has been reading tarot for ten years, working as a shadow guide for five, and as an artist and storyteller for their whole life. These practices were honed during their time at the Evergreen State College during their BA in Performing Arts and Consciousness Studies.
Aidan is currently pursuing an MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling to further develop their ability to support their communities, particularly queer and neurodivergent folks.
Aidan’s personal creativity practices include visual art, writing, dance, and Yoqi—a combination of Yoga and Qigong. Their multimedia paintings feature queer dreams and nonbinary visions of the past, present, and future and explorations of the depths of the human psyche through archetypes and storytelling.
Aidan lives in Bellingham, WA on unceded Lummi and Nooksack territory with their spouse and partner-in-crime Juniper, several ghost cats, and a slightly out-of-control jar collection.

Bellingham Pagan Market